It’s my first few weeks here in Japan,as I remember.My Mom talked again,She told me I have to start working.
I was surprised…but i didn’t know how to start an argument with that.Well my past few weeks start with bad arguments,me being childish and irresponsible.(I was 16!)shouting at my brain.But i never win.So I just shut up.When she told bout working,well,first inside my mine is.better than to stay inside the house all day.Better than washing dishes and scolded that i miss a spot.Better than listening to them screaming to each other.But she told me I have to live with my aunt,her sister Ery coz the work place are more near to her.
So, I agreed i will work better than nothing.What I didn’t know is what kind of work.
So this is the point my miserable life starts.They introduced me to a Homesse.Its a kind of place where girls wear sexy clothes welcome men,pour them drinks,talked with them cuddle with strange man!!!I was shocked coz i never had a drink before..my grandmother even wont let me drink coffee or cola coz it ruins health.And now my mom want me to drink and cuddle with strange man???IS THIS LEGAL???IM 16!!!The mama(kinda like super visor)told me not to worry coz i will earn more money than other people.She even ask me if im a virgin.That freaks me out.I didn’t had the choice,so i start working..
After few days what i see on that place will be history inside me.One of the hostess went to the toilet with the customer.And god knows what happen there..its 1bowl toilet …and infront of me was this mama,she took of the pants of the customer she keep telling me how small it was while laughing then….then….she licked it…played that mans part…
God i want to run away and go home…i was shaking and wanted to cry…But do i have choice?even i wanted to go,theres no train anymore i dont know even how to go home…the owner of that homese picked me up and send me home.Its disgusting.
After few days,it was crazy but i tried to become a wallflower for them..I start drinking so they wont say anything.The mama told me her valuable customer and friend is coming.So scared,thinking this woman is a maniac.How bout his friend?Mr.Aso ,his a good looking Japanese.Smell nice not like other customer who have bad breaths!So this man,is very nice he more come and visit me at homese.his old like 40’s so i felt like i have a father teaching how to memories karaoke,how to speak japanese.his so nice i always wait for him and he always show even his tired from work.Then 1 day,the mama and him drink together.and i was on his side sit.it was only 3 of us then waiting for the boss to send us home.Mr.Aso was drunk too,so they send him then me then mama and the boss go home. Mr.Aso house was so far it took us half hour driving just to go.So the boss was driving,side was the mama.me and Mr.Aso was at the back seat.We were in the middle of somewhere bridge when i felt his hand on my legs it was warm…i tried to hold his hand and put it away from me.But then…he grab me easily.the next thing i knew was his fingers inside me.i was shocked he broked my stockings easily. and find his fingers way inside me.finally my voice went out and shout mama to stop him.They looked backed and smile its fine.Its ok have fun.its your first time,right?She asked me.They didnt stopped the car.He went down near his home.They dropped me infront my Aunt Ery’s home.I went to shower right away..look at my self at the mirror and cried.Vomited few times.then cry again.It was almost bright when i wen out the shower.I hate myself.Im so dirty.Hated God why this things happens to me.
That morning,i called my mom but she wont let me stop working.So I called my real father.Told him im working that kind of place.but didnt got the guts to tell him what happen last night.I begged him to bring me back to Philippines.I cried and promises to be good if he help me.He told me.
HE TOLD ME!!!
Love your job.your mom told me your hard headed giving her problems.she told me your always drunk and go out with your friends…..
WHAT???WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT???LOVE YOUR JOB??????I WAS RAPED LAST NIGHT AND STILL YOU TELLING ME TO LOVE MY JOB??
But i didnt bother to say anyway.I closed my eyes …turn off the phone….and cried inside the shower.All I wanted is to die.And hate them.I stayed quiet for the following days.Continue to work at the same Homesse. Even though I hated it and really wanted to go , I was very stupid to run away. Dont know where to go.Dont know any people where to ask help.Months passes,my salary,my aunt ask me share at her house.the other,my mom takes it all.I dont even know how to spend the money.or how to buy.didnt bother me they took it all.
After few months,my aunt talked to me.She sees me crying a lot of time without reason.She told me she had a fight with my mom.(bout money)In the end of our conversation she asked me.Dont you get it?Its a PASS BATTONS!and so she explained to me…that they’ve been working for along times.Now that they have family its my time to help work for philippine.So they planned it?teold me ill gonna go sch. but instead to that dirty Homesse? Everything they do is planned…they all lied to me…that time i pretend im listening.i just closed my eyes and cry inside.just praying to God to take me.
And so,days pass,weeks,months,still working at the same place the only new here is Maybelle.She my new friend 6 years elder than me but shes my hero to get away..
It takes me a while to post this.I even argue to my self if i have to do this.
I cant type everything properly.its so hard.still nobody in my family knows about this.
Its a big decision to post this.Specially now i have my own daughter.But i have to let go.
Being a parent is not easy.I would never do the same to my own child.
And I pray to god everyday to make me more better mom.
And thank God he gave me a new life with my daughter.